What is emotional eating?

What is emotional eating?

When I ask my clients why they eat, they almost never respond by saying "I eat to fuel my body." They immediately connect with the non-physical reasons: I'm bored, I'm sad, I'm frustrated, I'm tired. In principle we all know that we eat for emotional reasons but in practice we find it hard both to identify and to avoid. Comfort food is called comfort food for a reason.

There's lots of scientific data these days about which types of foods satisfy which emotions – for example, if you crave ice cream, you're probably sad, but if pizza's what you're after then you're probably trying to maintain an already good mood. Also, men tend to prefer salty comfort food whereas women go for the sweets.

Here’s what we need to know to truly understand emotional eating:

It's very simple: emotional eating is eating when you're not physically hungry.

There are a few basic ways to tell the difference between emotional eating and physical hunger:

1. Physical hunger develops gradually. Emotional hunger comes on suddenly.

2. Physical hunger can be satisfied by a number of foods. Emotional eating is usually food specific and generally targets comfort foods.

3. Physical hunger can usually wait; emotional hunger requires instant satisfaction.

When you eat to fuel your body you plan your meals and cook them. When you find yourself trolling the kitchen for snacks you are eating to satisfy your emotions.

4. When you eat to satisfy your physical hunger you are more likely to stop when you're full. Satisfying emotional hunger has nothing to do with whether you're physically full so often you eat well beyond that point.

5. Eating when you are physically hungry will usually not make you feel guilty. Eating for emotional reasons often will.

We all eat emotionally sometimes.

Unfortunately for some of us emotional eating becomes the norm rather than the exception. Then it becomes easy to confuse emotional hunger with physical hunger. If you're eating emotionally and you're not physically hungry, you're probably packing on the calories without noticing. Also, if you're eating to satisfy your emotional needs you're probably not making the best nutritional choices.

How does this behavior develop? Often when a child is sad we cheer them up by offering them food instead of helping them cope with their feelings in another way. That is how the association between food and comfort first emerges. Over the years that behavior is reinforced and becomes automatic. As adults we tend not to question it.

What's the solution?

It seems obvious, doesn't it? If you're overeating for emotional reasons you need to find some other way to deal with your emotions.

Here are some tips:

1. The first step is to map out your eating habits in order to recognize when you're eating emotionally and when you're not. Keep a food diary which lists everything you eat or drink. Write down how you feel each time. Are you angry? Bored? Frustrated? This will help you recognize the emotional triggers that send you looking for food.

2. Then make a list of things you can do other than eating when this happens. Maybe you can go for a walk, talk to a friend, do some exercise, take a nap.

3. If you find that you can't avoid emotional eating, try to make a healthier choice. Reach for fruit instead of ice cream or nuts instead of chips. Exercise awareness of your portions and don't just keep eating.

4. If you find yourself eating unhealthy food, remember that your enjoyment of that food peaks after the fourth bite or so. You don't have to polish off a whole tub of ice cream in order to feel the joy. Try to stop after four bites. You'll get the pleasure without the heavy calorie load.

Don't eat. Feel!

Having a hard day? That's okay, it will pass. Try to just let yourself feel instead of eating. Feeling stressed or sad won't kill you. We all have good days and bad days. Food doesn't really help us get through them and most often we just end up feeling guilty for having eaten a lot of junk. Let yourself feel what's going on instead of blocking it off with food. Remind yourself of the things in your life that bring you joy – your kids, your family, your job, your partner – whatever works for you.

Most of all, accept yourself with compassion and without judgment and remember: every time you eat is a new opportunity to do it differently.